You see online dating can be stressful for some, but disastrous for many. Take my man Tony for insta…

You see online dating can be stressful for some, but disastrous for many. Take my man Tony for instance. Tony was an intelligent successful young brother with a future many could only dream of. The only problem with Tony was; he was lonely. Now Tony was a good looking brother, but he had a problem talking to the ladies. He was fine in front of his mirror, but when it came time to a one on one he was tongue tied or as we like to call it corny. The one asset Tony had was he was good with words when preparing briefs and proposals. Also he could type fast. So Tony ventured into the world of online dating. His first night was troubling. He couldn't believe everyone knew everyone's momma in the biblical sense. Not to be discouraged he pushed ahead to a second and third night. Third night turned into first week, followed by second week followed by first month, but finally Tony was able to connect with someone. She had the same likes as Tony, she didn't live too far from him, but the main thing to be honest; her pic was banging. Every time Tony logged on he would look at her pic. Now she wasn't a star, but she looked good and he knew he had to set up a meet quickly before the other online dogs would hook something up before him. He arranged for next Saturday at eight.

Next Saturday came and Tony was anxious and nervous. He fixed up his one bedroom apartment the best he could. His apartment is what I like to call a straightaway. Soon as you enter the front door you're in the living room. Straight ahead is his skinny hallway where only one person could lead. Off to the right was his tiny bedroom. Straight ahead was his so-called dining area and straight ahead from that was his kitchen followed by his back door. Off to the right of his kitchen was his tiny bathroom. Tony looked around his tiny apartment and was happy with the final results. I mean come on Tony was a bachelor and to be able to turn a bachelor pad into something respectful takes effort; and he was pleased. It was almost eight when the phone rang. It was her, Mikquisha. Oh my bad I forgot to tell you her name. (Why do we mess with our children's name like that?) Anyway Tony was aware that was her online name. Not everyone used there real name like my man Tonyluv at aol.com. She made the wrong turn off the highway and got lost, however she found her way and would be there in thirty minutes. Tony was okay with that because his duck was still cooking in the oven. He wanted everything to be special. While he was waiting he decided to crack open another beer. It was his fourth out of the six pack. If she liked beer at least he had two left just for them instead of the three which would have looked....ah forget about it, Tony was a drunk. Tony made his last minute check of the layout and smiled at himself in the mirror. This may be his night he told himself when all of the sudden he felt that twinge. He bore down hard on his stomach muscle. "Oh no not now", he said aloud. He bore down extremely hard until the feeling subsided. He let a sigh of relief. All was good in the world once again, until the phone rang again. Mikquisha, "I'm on Maple Road right now". "I turned down the wrong street and headed west instead of east". "I'm about twenty or so minutes away". "Wait for me". What else could he do, but wait. However, not everything had the same plan. "I could make it real quick" he thought, "but what if the smell lingers" he struggled with. Time was passing. Tony had to make a decision and quick. He decided to go for it. He ran through his kitchen into his bathroom. He grabbed the bathroom air freshener, but to his horror it was empty. He quickly looked through his medicine cabinet and found a book of matches. He lit two quickly and slammed the toilet seat hard against the back bowl, he sat and let loose. When I say he let loose I mean he let loose. It wouldn't stop. He knew time was against him so he had to move fast. Once he was finished he wiped and washed. (Lesson to the fellahs: You can never be too clean. Get that cloth with some soap on it, and scrub) Once Tony was finished scrubbing he lit two more matches and waved them around his bathroom frantically when the doorbell rang. "Oh my damn" he thought. He flushed again quickly, checked himself in the bathroom mirror and looked to the sky for any kind of support he could get at that moment. He went to the front door and opened it for his Mikquisha. She walked in looking good. "Can I get a hug at least", she asked a clearly nervous Tony. "Of course", he said as he hugged her tightly. Smelling good and looking good Tony knew he hit the jackpot.

As she broke away from his warm embrace she asked. "I've been driving around for over an hour can I use your bathroom"?